If I Had My Child to Raise Over Again by Diane Loomans

If I Had My Child to Raise Over Again by Diane Loomans
If I had my child to raise all over again,
I'd do less correcting, and more connecting,
I'd take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.
I would care to know less and know to care more.
I'd take more hikes and fly more kites.
I'd stop playing serious, and seriously play.
I'd run through more fields and gaze at more stars.
I'd do more hugging, and less tugging.
I would be firm less often, and affirm much more,
I'd build self-esteem first, and the house later.
I'd teach less about the love of power and more about the power of love.

Sunday, 18 April 2010

REHLAH - TYNEMOUTH, NEWCASTLE

17 April, 2010
TYNEMOUTH adalah muara Sungai Tyne, Newcastle, lebih kurang 36 minit perjalanan daripada kediaman kami di Bowburn. Rehlah kali ini adalah sebahagian daripada pengisian USRAH kaum bapa Durham My.




GELAGAT ANAK-ANAK YANG AMAT RIANG BERMAIN PASIR



IFFAH, NABHAN & SUMAYYAH


IFFAH & SUMAYYAH
NADHILA & RUFAYDAH
NASHWA


AMIN
FLY KAK CIK




Wednesday, 14 April 2010

ANAK OH ANAK!


'Membesarkan anak remaja membuatkan kita banyak mengalirkan airmata.' begitulah keluhan seorang teman rapat melalui emailnya kepada saya baru-baru ini.  Bukanlah kali pertama saya mendengar keluhan teman-teman mengenai masalah anak-anak, malah pelbagai luahan rasa yang telah saya dengar sebelum ini.

Di ambang 40 tahun kehidupan, dan setelah hampir 12 tahun bergelar ibu saya sendiri merasa agak gelisah apabila melihat gelagat anak-anak. Di usia sebegini, saya telah punya anak remaja. Memang, membesarkan anak-anak di era globalisasi ini sangat hebat cabarannya. Jauh daripada sangkaan saya sewaktu-waktu berangan untuk menjadi seorang ibu suatu ketika dulu. Mungkin kerana sukar dan beratnya tanggungan seorang ibu dalam melaksanakan tanggungjawab itu, maka Allah mengangkat martabat ibu sebagai; AL-JANNAH tahta aqdamul ummahat (Syurga terletak di bawah kaki ibu).


Teringat pula saat dianugerahkan anak pertama, tidak dapat dibayangkan betapa nikmatnya menatap wajah cahaya mata yang dikandung lahir dengan sempurna, bersama besarnya harapan bahawa anakanda akan menjadi insan yang berguna. Begitulah setiap kali menerima zuriat, maka perasaan yang sama terbit melatari jiwa ayah bonda. Itulah anugerah Ilahi yang tidak terhingga tinggi nilainya buat seorang anak; kasih sayang yang tiada taranya, kemudiannya akan menerbitkan jasa-jasa yang sudah pasti tidak akan dapat dibalas oleh anak-anak walau diusaha sedaya upaya. Susah payah ibu bapa dalam memelihara dan mendidik anak sudah maklum bagi seluruh umat manusia.

 Jasa dan peranan ibu bapa sangat diambil kira jika ditanya kepada kebanyakan generasi kita, ibu bapa adalah orang yang utama dalam kehidupan kita. Izin dan restu keduanya adalah perkara yang akan mengiringi gerak langkah kita dalam memilih jalan-jalan kehidupan. Senyum dan ketawa ibu bapa adalah kepuasan, sementara marah dan tangisan mereka adalah kegelisahan. Itulah diari kehidupan kebanyakan generasi kita yang sangat hormat dan mengambil berat akan hati dan perasaan kedua orang tua kita yang sebahagiannya masih ada, sementara sebahagian lagi telah pergi menemui Ilahi.

Anak-anak hari ini agak berbeza, walaupun mereka masih kasih dan sayang kepada ibu bapa tetapi saya melihat mereka kurang rasa kasihan terhadap kita, sebagai ibu dan bapa mereka. Anak-anak nampaknya tidak merasa bersalah bila mendesak kita untuk menunaikan hajat dan keperluan mereka. Handphone, baju, kasut, kenderaan, ringan saja mulut mereka meminta, bukan menanti kita meng'offer'. Jenama pula ikut suka mereka, berbelanja ikut selera, bukan fikir pasal kocek dan handbag ibu bapa! Mungkin juga zaman kita sudah zaman yang agak senang, anak kita lahir ketika gaji kita telah empat angka, jadi semua keperluan anak kita penuhi sedari kecil mereka. Mungkin kita terlupa bahawa Rasulullah SAW berpesan supaya kita juga mengajarkan anak-anak dengan kesusahan dan jangan selalu disogokkan dengan kesenangan sahaja walaupun kita berupaya.

Anak-anak hari ini lebih suka menghabiskan masa di hadapan monitor daripada membantu ibu bapa. Hari-hari cuti adalah peluang untuk bangun meninggi hari, ketika makanan sudah siap terhidang di atas meja, rumah sudah licin dikemas, dan pakaian sudah disidai berderet di ampaian oleh si ibu. Apakah mereka tidak merasa kasihan dan bersalah terhadap ibu? Entahlah, mungkin di sana ada dan banyak silapnya kita. Mungkin juga kerana kita berkerjaya lalu kita kurang mendidik dan memahamkan anak-anak tentang tanggungjawab.

Memikirkan anak-anak hari ini terasa gelisah diri ini, namun kita masih ada peluang untuk memperbaiki diri dan cara kita mendidik mereka. Mungkin saya boleh cadangkan beberapa perkara yang saya fikir-fikirkan untuk anak-anak saya sendiri. Antaranya;

1.  Ajarkan anak-anak erti kesusahan. Ceritakan kesusahan ibu bapa zaman dahulu kala, tunjukkan rumah-rumah dan suasana kehidupan orang-orang yang susah dan kurang bernasib baik. Sekiranya P n P dalam kelas kita perlukan ABM, begitu jugalah cara kita mengajar anak-anak erti kehidupan. Bawa anak-anak melawat rumah orang miskin. Sekiranya kita adalah guru, maka sekali sekala buatlah program bersama golongan tidak bernasib baik dan bawa anak-anak kita sekali supaya tumbuh sifat empati dalam diri mereka terhadap orang lain. Setelah itu ajarkan mereka bersyukur, selalulah bercakap dengan anak-anak kita mengenai kehidupan di sekeliling kita. Moga-moga anak-anak tidak akan menjadi seorang yang mementingkan diri sendiri. Jagalah perkataan kita ketika berbicara dengan anak-anak mengenai kehidupan golongan bawahan, pandai-pandailah mengajar anak-anak menghargai nikmat kehidupan agar apa yang kita tunjukkan akan menjadi pengajaran dan bukan penghinaan dan merendahkan kehidupan golongan yang tidak bernasib baik ini.

2.  Latih anak-anak mengawal perasaan. Mereka tidak boleh melepaskan kemarahan dan rasa tidak puas hati kepada orang lain sesuka hati. Mereka mesti tahu dan kenal orang-orang yang berada di hadapan mereka. Anak-anak sekarang sudah ramai yang tidak tahu menilai siapa orang kedua dan ketiga apabila mereka bercakap, selalu saja lepas dan biadap perkataannya kepada orang-orang tua samaada ibu bapa sendiri, teman-teman ibu bapa mahupun sedara mara yang lebih tua. Kata saja apa yang terlintas di kepala kerana itu adalah pendapat hamba!

Kadang-kadang anak-anak kita datang dan 'interrupt' perbualan kita dengan rakan-rakan kita. Ada ibu bapa yang memalingkan muka ke arah anak ketika temannya sedang berbicara untuk melayan permatanya yang mahu bertanya. Saya rasa kita patut ajar anak adab ketika bersama orang tua. Jangan senang-senang menerpa ketika orang tua sedang berbicara.


3.  Sering-seringlah bertanya kepada anak-anak tentang guru-guru mereka, elakkan mengkritik guru anak-anak kita di hadapan mereka. Teguri anak-anak sekiranya mereka berkata sesuatu yang tidak baik terhadap guru-guru mereka. Ini bagi menanam rasa hormat dan kagum anak-anak kita terhadap guru-guru. Pengalaman saya sebagai guru menunjukkan anak-anak sekarang telah hilang rasa hormat terhadap guru. Saya masih ingat, ramai sekali pelajar-pelajar saya di Pulau Pinang yang tanpa segan silu mengejek atau mengajuk cara saya bercakap yang berbau loghat Pahang kerana saya orang Pahang. Saya amat terasa hati dengan mereka. Pelajar sekarang sudah kurang rasa malu terhadap guru, jika ditegur bukan mereka merasa malu atau segan sebaliknya mereka akan menarik muka masam seolah-olah guru pula yang bersalah kerana memberi teguran. Jauhnya beza dengan masa saya menjadi pelajar; waktu itu...ah! Betapa mulianya seorang guru.

4.  Kongsikan dengan anak-anak mengenai profesion kita. Semasa saya mengajar selalu juga saya bertanya pelajar-pelajar apa pekerjaan ayah dan ibu mereka? Hairan kerana ramai antara pelajar saya yang tidak tahu jenis pekerjaan ayah mereka, dan kalau tahu sekalipun mereka gagal menjelaskan bagaimanakah bentuk pekerjaan tersebut. Saya seorang anak penoreh getah, walaupun saya tidak pernah menoreh getah tetapi saya tahu 'every steps' membuat getah buku dan getah keping, saya juga tahu apa dia getah sekerap! Lalu, kerana itulah saya amat menghargai keringat seorang ayah! Apakah anak-anak kita tahu dan sedar siapa kita selain ibu dan ayah kepada mereka? Fahamkah mereka dengan penat lelah dan betapa depressnya kita bila pulang dari bekerja?. Bagaimanakah anak-anak mahu menghargai penat lelah kita mencari rezeki sekiranya mereka gagal memahami nature pekerjaan kita!

5.  Ilmu dan pengalaman mendidik dan mematangkan manusia. Anak-anak mesti selalu dibiasakan agar mengutip apa saja pengalaman positif dan negatif untuk direnung dan dijadikan pengajaran. Sering-seringlah berkongsi pengalaman kehidupan kita dengan anak-anak. Ruangkanlah sedikit waktu malam kita atau pada hari-hari cuti untuk 'berchit-chat' dengan anak-anak kita. Ini mesti dibiasakan sedari anak-anak kecil, ceritakan apa saja pengalaman kehidupan kita yang bersesuaian untuk kita kongsikan bersama mereka. Dengarkan juga cerita mereka. Selain memberi pengajaran kepada anak-anak kita juga boleh  mengajar anak-anak supaya saling menghargai antara satu sama lain.


6.  Dekatkan anak-anak kiata dengan kehidupan beragama. Amalkan membaca al-Quran bersama anak-anak, lazimkan anak-anak mendengar nasyid-nasyid dan jangan biarkan lagu-lagu yang melalaikan menguasai suasana rumah kita. Galakkan anak-anak membeli dan membaca bahan-bahan ilmiah dan jangan biarkan anak-anak leka dengan bahan-bahan hiburan yang didominasi oleh artis-artis yang murah diri dan peribadi mereka. Anak-anak sekarang ramai yang lalai dan leka dengan hiburan, artis dan games menjadi kegemaran.

7.  Jika anak-anak kita tinggal di hostel, tulislah surat untuk mereka sekali sekala, berilah nasihat untuk mereka. Berhubung dan bercakap menerusi telefon tidak sama dengan menulis dan menatap helaian warkah . Anak-anak tentunya akan dapat merasai dan menghayati bait-bait ayat harapan yang kita luahkan melalui surat kita berbanding pesanan demi pesanan yang kita luahkan di hujung talian.


Banyak lagi yang boleh kita fikir dan lakukan. Sebagaimana banyaknya anasir jahat yang mahu menyesatkan anak-anak kita hari ini, maka sebanyak itulah juga kita mesti memikirkan jalan untuk menyelamatkan anak-anak kesayangan kita. Moga kita juga berpeluang menjadi ibu bapa yang dihargai sebagaimana ibu bapa kita hari ini.


Sunday, 11 April 2010

HALL HILL FARM, DURHAM. Sabtu, 10 April 2010



SPELLING TIPS FOR DYSLEXIC STUDENTS




In this dyslexia blog article here are some tips about learning spellings :

My son this year has started to study English at school. He does find English much harder to learn in comparison to Turkish . Especially,he has difficulty in learning spellings in English.

I am trying to support my son with his learning at home. Here below is some of the activities I have done with him to help him learn spellings.

First of all I ask him to read the words out that need to be learnt.
Later I put the word in a simple sentence for my son to read .
Eg : I went to the market on Tuesday .
(Students need to familiar with the words before they can spell them).

In order to practice spellings you can carry out some of the following activities:

Try to make it as fun as possible and vary tasks from time to time.

Get your child to complete wordsearches and crosswords containing the target words. You can make your own or find some on the internet.

Make up anagrams of the target words – ie reorder the letters and then get your child to to link these to the correct words .

eg mandoy – Monday / udatyes – Tuesday

You could also use scrabble letters or plastic letters to unscramble spellings.

Tracking exercise : Write the words in the letter sequence twice , but between the letters of the word write other letters...
Ask your child to underline the correct letters in the word .After get them to write the word at the end of the line.

Eg : ( Tuesday )

t a h e g y u d e w u s d e a i y d g t i e i u t y p e j s f d w a u y ……

Missing letters :write targeted words but miss out one or two letters. Ask your child to fill in the missing letters.

Eg : mon_ _ _ , _ _ _ day , m _ _ _ _ _

Matching word shapes : Draw a box around each letter and look for patterns ie which letters are tall or hang below the line.

Get you child to close their eyes and imagine the letters of the spelling in their head. Can they say the letters of the word out loud?

Trace the word :
Write the word down in very big writing.Get your child to trace over the word with their finger several times.
Cover the word and after ask your child to write the word.

Look, say, cover, write and check
First ask your child to look at the word carefully. Discuss what stands out in the word / how many syllables etc.
After say the word.
Cover the word . Ask the child to then write the word. After uncover the word and ask your child to check their spelling.
If they make an error – examine where it went wrong, emphasising the letters they have placed in the right place and try again.Do this every day for a few minutes until they are familiar with spellings.

Teach your child to make up spelling mnemonics .Mnenmonics is a memory aid .

Eg T U Eat Sweets DAY / WE Do Not Eat Sweets day

You could adapt a basic board game to practice spellings - so that when they land on certain places they have to spell a word and can move forward or backwards depending if they got the spelling correct.

Play hangman using the spellings you are trying to learn.

Write spellings in cursive handwriting as this helps automatic recall of spellings.

Don’t just use pan and paper -
Use magnetic, plastic or wooden letters ,scrabble tiles ,chalk,coloured felt tip pens,playdough ,sand ,shaving foam etc to learn spellings.

Scrabble letter tiles or plastic letters are good to teach spelling skills as children can easily see how words are built.

Make sure you praise your child for their effort –You could give them stickers or some small reward.

from: dyslexic parents blog

MOTIVATING DYSLEXIC CHILDREN



Often dyslexic students are affected by what is termed "learned helplessness." This is when a child who faces failure over and over again begins to feel their not going to succeed and don't see any sense in trying. In fact, as they get older this idea can become permanently fixed in their mind and leads to a loss of motivation , especially if they have already suffered failure previously. Students can become withdrawn and become unwilling to tackle new tasks.
So how can parents and educators help to prevent this from happening ?
Richard Lavoie, who is a popular author and speaker about learning disabilities ,states that although every teacher can’t approach every child differently – they could however come up with a wide variety of motivational techniques so that they catch all of the different kids in the classroom.
Praise should be not solely be given for academic achievements but also for non-academic achievements.These non-academic achievements should be recognised and rewarded by teachers.
Examples include:-
Helping in class ,being organised with own equipment for lessons; showing kindness to others; willingness to take part in discussions; sitting quietly and attentive, showing good effort (regardless of outcome).
In Turkey, very often classes are very large and crowded .In most cases the teacher plans the lesson with about the “best” top 10 pupils of the class in mind. Very little thought is given to the different levels and types of students in the class.
Generally the only feedback students receive is from grades on tests / exams and report cards. Schools however need to give praise for other achievements. Reward for individual effort versus achievement is virtually non-existent in the Turkish education system.
Turkish schools generally foster competition—where the focus is always on who is the “best”. Competition in fact certainly doesn’t work for all children. It can be discouraging to children, especially those who may never be “the best” in school.
Students can sometimes be punished for not being able to complete a task properly . For example, a student who is not able to read or write sufficiently well maybe put in the back row of the classroom as a form of punishment. As Lavoie states , punishment is totally an ineffective way to motivate kids , in fact in most cases it has the opposite effect, it demotivates kids.
Middle and high school teachers tend to come in the classroom ; deliver their lesson and leave; giving little consideration on how to motivate students in their classroom . Older students are expected to motivate themselves In fact ,teachers really need to make it their priority to develop motivating techniques, especially for those students who may well have formed fixed ideas about their abilities .
Lessons taught in Turkey are usually very traditional and text- book based. Teachers need to endeavour to make lessons more interesting for students in order to encourage students to learn. Students especially with learning disabilities will benefit from lessons which are both stimulating and which involve a a multi- sensory approach to learning.
Parents, of course, also have a role in motivating their children .If parents work with children at home they should try to make lessons fun and interesting. The use of games are a good way to stimulate interest . Rewards could also be given for achievable targets.
Parents and teachers can help to motivate their children by looking for "islands of excellence".
Islands of excellence are activities which children enjoy and are good at.Parents and teachers need to praise children for these activities.
Parents should consider What are their child's "island of excellence"?
What are they interested in Art? Model making ? table tennis ? music? Computers? Gardening? .
Parents should give children opportunities out of school to pursue their interests and hobbies. They should provide opportunities where the child can feel good about themselves and feel proud of there achievements.
Parents could record their child’s achievements by taking photos,making a blog , keeping a scrapbook , displaying school work or art work etc at home …
On the Dyslexia Teacher site it suggests that parents could carry out a confidence building exercise with their child in order to help to boost their self confidence.
This exercise involves discussing with the child what things they are good at and not good at .After they make a list of these things. Usuallly the list of things they can do outweighs the list of things they can't do. For more details about this exercise see :
http://www.dyslexia-teacher.com/t66.html
Here are the ways Richard Lavoie lists in his book ,”The Motivational Breakthrough”; of how teachers and parents can motivate young people (The 6 P’s)
Praise – Praise should be sincere and focused on effort and improvement.
Power – Empowering children to make choices gives them a sense of autonomy.
Projects – Projects are wonderful tools for connecting disciplines and is a great way to motivate inquisitive children.
People – Establishing a positive relationship with children is the basis for building an effective motivational process.
Prizes – Prizes can appeal to children motivated by status, recognition, affiliation or power.
Prestige - Consistent encouragement and opportunities to showcase their talents are important.
Phil Beadle , the inspirational teacher from the TV programme The Unteachables has written a book called “Could do better” .It is a a guide for parents whose children are underachieving at school.
The Unteachables invited a number of kids with serious attendance and behavioural problems in school to take part in a project which endeavoured to try to get them to get more out of school.
Here are some suggestions from his book “Could do Better” on how parents can help their child :
Find out the unique way in which he/she is clever.
Have books in the house, and be seen reading them.Ration television and computer time.Never criticise their teacher.Protect them from pressure. “Your best is good enough.” – (very important I think.. ).Sit down to meals together and use the time to play mind-stretching games.

from: dyslexic parents blog

Monday, 5 April 2010

PULAU SOCOTRA, YAMAN

ANUGERAH ILAHI KEPADA NEGARA YAMAN













dipetik dari: http://www.funonthenet.in/articles/Socotra-Island.html